MookyChick Flash Fiction Runner-Up. YEAH BOIYZ!

Yes, I used the word ‘boiyz’. Which, firstly, is not a word, and secondly is meant to be ironic, seeing as the MookyChick Flash Fiction competition was feminist.

I feel like sometimes I should explain Feminism (why thank you, A-Level politics, I remember this module). But you can clearly Google it. As long as you don’t automatically think that Feminism means we hate men, we don’t wear bras, we don’t shave our legs and we automatically believe that anyone with a penis is stupid. These are not feminists. Well, maybe the old-school ‘burn your bra’ femmies did have a point, and I’m sure that high heels are instruments of mass-torture. Also, shaving your legs is just a pain.

The point, dear hearts, is that the modern day feminist is an egalitarian (equality! Woo!) who happens to be interested in female issues. Because, most of the time, we are female.

So, there endeth the lesson. You should check out MookyChick’s site here, because it’s super-fun, and pretty much encompasses all the stuff I love, like writing stuff, and making stuff, and how to protect your house from ninjas. Yep. Oh, and this is my piece.

This is their Mission Statement, which is awesome:

Mission Statement

Mookychick believes that climbing trees and riding giant turtles is more fun and girly than worrying about make-up. But if you want to worry about make-up instead of turtles? Fine by us. Be you feminist, witch, vegan, horror junky, intellectual, Xtian, corset queen, geek, unicorn, sea monkey… be you into alternative style, comics or jock culture… we will always love you.

I’ll also point out that this was the first actual money I earned by writing. So I’m going to go right ahead (or ‘write ahead’- chortle!Gah Hah!) and start calling myself an actual Writer now. Sure, ‘Barista by Trade, Writer by Nature’ has always been my kind of summary, but let’s face the facts. It’s not always about the money. So far, from writing I have gained various free festival tickets, cinema showings, the chance to debate climate change at The Eden Project, and a private gig in my back garden. Not too shabby.

This is me. Making a face. With a cheque.

But somehow, money feels like a ‘real’ achievement. Because that, in this capitalist age, is how we define  success. (I’m not complaining, I have some money! Real money! That I didn’t make through serving coffee, but by putting words on a page. Sheesh!) So even if I don’t make any more Writer Money for a while, I shall know, that I once came runner-up in a competition, and won £25 for writing less than 300 words. And that, apparently, they were good words. Like, with a point, and everything.

So there’s my little explanation on how it feels to make money for the first time as a writer. And that I’m calling myself that now. A professional writer. Oh yes. And it feels good, my friends, it feels good.

I’ll also be uploading a new short story called Numbers. It’s about the outcome of giving a rather nice guy a fake number. Intrigued? Sure you are! You can hover over the Fiction tab to find it.

Oh, and you can jump on over to Pop Culture Playpen to see my article on Rihanna, and how she’s a bit unnecessarily sexy (in keeping with the feminist theme). Maybe next week I’ll do one on how Adam Levine is the boy-whore version, you know, just to be an egalitarian. (See, aren’t you glad you were listening?)


Novel: Complete


Just a little update, because ladies and gents, drum roll please…I’ve finished my novel.

Clocking in at just under a year, it’s about 60,000 words and it’s called Wine Dark, Sea Blue. So I would give you a little teaser, but you know what, I’m sick of the sight of it at the moment. It’s done, it’s fine and that’s what matters.

For Writerly Cliches, drink black coffee and write in a moleskine

No, actually, what matters is that I FINISHED something. I completed my first big project as a writer, and now comes the difficult part- marketing it, publicising it and getting it out there.

So, I’ll be entering this Mslexia Novel Competition, which I urge everyone who has a novel sitting about to do. Oh, you have to be a woman. So if your reproductive organs are on the outside, afraid you’ll have to pass on this opportunity. Mslexia are an excellent magazine for female writers and I’d really recommend checking them out. I intend to subscribe as soon as I’ve got some spare change.

Whilst we’re talking about magazines, I’m finding Writers’ Forum a really good resource. I usually feel quite isolated when choosing a magazine. Occasionally, a copy of Vogue or Glamour will hit the spot, but there doesn’t seem to be anything aimed at creatives trying to survive, or sharing their work. Writers’ Forum focuses on both the professional and amateur writer, but try not to let that dissuade you, there’s a wealth of information concerning getting paid for your work, where and how to market it, plus competitions and festival info. Also, I don’t know about you, but just reading something to do with writing makes me feel more in touch with what I’m meant to be doing.

So, I’ll be hopping off on my travels for a while, to recharge my batteries and start throwing around ideas for my new projects (including kids books, teenage and YA fiction) and preparing my DumbSaint Creative Writing Workshops for when I get back.

Until then, you can find my random wonderings about various topics over here with the lovely folks at Pop Culture Play Pen. And of course, I’ll be keeping up the anonymous fun over at Cafe Disaster, the home of the enraged barista who judges mean customers and ridicules them for your reading pleasure.

Keep an eye out for some guest writers whilst I’m off gallivanting, and some special ‘straight off the road’ coffee updates from Oz and the USA. Will Aussies order things like triple shot extra hot decaf soya cappuccinos? Or will they likely tell me to calm down and have a beer? I hope so. Also, I’ll be hanging around in LA Airport for six hours…I feel like this will be a prime opportunity to see an American Starbucks in action. I have a certain feeling about LA-ers. Let’s see if it’s correct.

And I’ll be back as soon as there’s some writing-related excitement to relate! Ciaou!